Find Yourself
by Holly-Anne
Summary: When Derek Venturi witnesses a mob hit, he finds his life taking a huge turn for the worse.
1. Sweet Sixteen

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter One**

Fifteen year old Derek Venturi was anxiously making his way down the hall at John Sparrow Thompson High. "You're invited," he said, handing out what seemed to be an invintation for something to a tall, preppy dressed, brunette. He continued handing out invintations excitedly, everyone wanted to recieve one, and who wouldn't want to be invited to something, anything that was being thrown by the great, Derek Venturi? As he got to the end of the hall, he ran into someone he saw, maybe too often. "Unfortunately," he stated to the person, "I have to invite you too, being family and all."

"Ha ha." This _person_ turned out to be fifteen year old Casey MacDonald, Derek's step-sister. "Yes, unfortunately," the world stung her tongue, she agreed.

"Lighten up, Case. It was just a joke. True joke, but a joke none the less." Derek said in reply to her statement and wrapped his arm around Casey.

"Get off me," she yelped and removed his arm from her shoulders. "Derek!"

"You need to take a chill pill Casey, you're so uptight." Derek clicked his tongue and threw a piece of paper, invintation at her.

Casey picked up the paper from the floor. Derek's sweet sixteen. She glared at the paper, as if glaring would burst it into flames. It being impossible, she took the easier take and shredded the invintation and threw the pieces of paper up in the air. "Whatever," she muttered under her breath and hurried to class.

* * *

"So, kids," Nora MacDonald-Venturi asked at dinner that night, cutting into her steak she had made. "how was school?"

"It was okay," Casey said, with a little eye roll at the end.

"I passed out my invintations today," Derek beamed, "but I don't think Casey wants to attend my party." Derek mocked a pout and pretended to cry.

"Oh, shut up Derek! You're unbelievable," Casey grumbled and stabbed her fork into her green beans, angrily.

"Unbelievable because I invited you to my party?" Derek scoffed. "I'm unbelievable, Casey? You're the one unbelievable. I invite you to the social event of the season, high school life, my sweet sixteen, and I'm unbelievable?"

"You only invited me because we're family now and you know that Nora and George would be upset if you didn't!" Casey shot her step-brother a glare and then looked over at her mother and step-father.

"Casey," George said, trying to calm the situation, "its Derek's party, he can invite whoever he wants. Sure, we'd like him to invite you, but he in no way _has_ to."

Casey wrinkled her nose and pulled out her chair. She felt slightly stupid. She saw Derek stick his tongue out at her. "May I be excused?" she said quietly, not even waiting for a reply, she was up out of her chair and up the stairs. Casey just made a total fool of herself. Derek really wanted her at his party. That had to mean something, right? He didn't _have_ to invite her, at all. "You are so stupid," she whispered to herself, and she meant every word of that.

"Way to go, Case," said a voice behind her. She recgonized it as Derek's. "You make a fool of yourself at school as Klutzilla, and now in front of your family."

"Derek, do you have smart alek comment on everything I say?"

Derek pondered that for a moment. "As a matter of fact, Casey, I'd say, yes, yes, I do."

"Gah," she growled throwing a fluffy, pillow at him. "I hate you."

"Love you too," he laughed, throwing the pillow back and shutting her bedroom door.

Casey rolled her eyes and got onto her computer. Everyone was too obsessed with Derek's party. Everyone's Myspace was full of bulletins: Were you invited to Derek Venturi's Sweet Sixteen? Casey wanted to barf. How was Derek so popular. Wait, did she have to answer that? He was cute, jock-ish, and most importantly, a jerk. All jerks seemed to be popular. Did that work out, because everyone seemed to go for the bad boys? Jerk-ish like boys? Her thoughts turned into a ramble. Normally a lot of things did when she went on a train of thought about Derek. She rolled her eyes and shut her computer down. Later, maybe, she'd ponder more on this subject.

Casey started to get dressed for bed. Did she even want to attend this party? Again, she'd think more on the subject whenever she woke up in the morning. She sighed heavily and crawled into her bed, the warmth of the covers wrapped around her. She get over all this tomorrow...

* * *

Derek didn't need school. In fact, screw school, and everything about it. Why not skip class? He'd convinced Sam and Ralph to skip with him. "Come on man," Sam whispered, quietly. Derek knew Sam was always a little shaky about skipping class.

"You're not thinking of staying, are you, Sam?" Derek said, facing him and waving his arms in the air. "The world is our oyster. We should get out there and embrace it, my good man!"

"You realize if we get caught skipping again, your step-mom threatened to cancel your party," Sam said. He wanted to go to this party just as much as anyone else in the school.

"That's where you're wrong," Derek smirked, "she may threaten to cancel the party, but she never will. Her and my dad have already put so much time and money into it anyways." Derek rubbed his palms together excitedly, "...and Sam, Ralph, two weeks! Two weeks, is all we have to wait."

Ralph grinned. "Well, either way its win-win, even if we do get caught."

"Exactly!" Derek laughed and led his friends outside.

The boys found themselves smoking cigarettes and walking down the street of a nearby neighborhood. Neighborhood, if you want to call it that. It was more of farmland, with a few houses here and there. Derek, Sam, and Ralph were all in someone's barn, it didn't matter. It didn't look used anyways.

"This is living, men," Derek smiled, taking a long drag off of his cigarette. "...and when I learn how to drive..."

Ralph got Derek's drift and smiled. "It helps, you being older than everyone, giving us the hookups..." Ralph snapped and pointed at Derek.

Sam just coughed from a drag gone wrong. Derek clicked his tongue at him, "Shame Sam, I thought I taught you how to keep down your nicotine." Sam gave Derek a dirty look.

"Hey, Derek, Sam, lookie here," Ralph exclaimed, he was looking out of a window in the barn.

"What is it?" Derek and Sam asked, same time.

"There's people outside."

"What do you mean _people_?" Sam asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Just, people," Ralph shrugged, "no big deal."

Derek crawled over and looked out the window. There were people. One appeared to be a short guy, but he was big, intimidating. Another guy was tall and muscular and the last guy was extremely muscular, but slouching. Why was he slouching? Derek knew he wouldn't be slouching if he looked like that, he'd be confident. Derek looked over at Ralph and Sam. Ralph was flicking his cigarette butt onto the barn floor.

"Let's go, Derek, I have a Spanish test I need to take," Ralph said, climbing out of the barn loft onto the floor.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, following after his friend.

"Alright," Derek said, giving in. "Let's go. You guys start off. I think I'm going to have another cigarette."

"See ya, Derek," Sam said, jumping onto the barn floor.

"Have fun," Ralph also added, giving Derek a quick wave before he dashed out of the barn door.

Derek just shook his head and lit up another cigarette. He might as well get on his way too. He put the cigarette up to his lips and jumped down the rungs of the ladder to the floor. Oh, how Derek Venturi loved skipping english. A good nicotine fix beat grammar patterns any day.


	2. Derek Venturi is Dead

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Two**

Derek steadied the cigarette between his index and middle finger. He walked around in a few circles, kicking at rocks. He wasn't ready to go back to class. He inhaled sharply, about to spin on his heel. He heard a loud bang. A gunshot? Derek felt his heart pounding, it sounded close. He began to walk quickly. He snapped his head and saw those three men from earlier, except one was missing. Derek dropped his cigarette on the ground and began to run. What Derek Venturi wasn't counting on, was that they saw him, and started to run after him as well. Derek was running faster, he was getting worn out, but he was too afraid to stop. However, he was stopped out of force. A big, bulky arm got ahold of the back of his trademark, black, leather jacket and pulled him towards them. They spun Derek around and walked around him.

"What's your name?" one of the men spit. Derek flinched. "Don't give us a fake one either."

"Derek Venturi," Derek's heart was pounding, he was afraid.

"Derek Venturi?" said the other man, he seemed to be in charge. He gave Derek a smile and inspected him.

"Look, I didn't see anything. I won't say anything," Derek said, thrusting his shaking hands into his pant pockets.

"You could be lying," said the other man. He waved a gun in Derek's face. Derek just swallowed hard.

"Believe me, I won't say a word. Why would I, its my life on the line. I care a lot more about my life then anything else. Please, believe me."

"I believe you," said the man in charge and he pushed Derek away. "Now, run, before I change my mind."

Derek nodded quickly and ran off, faster than he'd ever ran before. Not realizing he had dropped his student ID.

"Think he's sincere?" the man asked to clearly, his boss.

"Who knows," the leader smirked and picked up the ID card. "even if he was, we can't take our chances. He man looked at the ID card and flipped it between his fingers.

* * *

"I'm so dead," Derek muttered under his breathe. What if they came after his family? Why did he give his last name?

"Hall pass?"

Derek looked up at the hall monitor. "Uhm. No."

"You know this means detention, again, Mr. Venturi. Where's your ID?"

Derek sighed and patted his pockets. He paniced, it wasn't in there. Where was it? Derek inhaled sharply. "I must've dropped it."

"Detention for two weeks," the hall monitor stated and gave Derek a slip of paper.

Derek groaned and trudged to class and took his seat next to Sam. "Where have you been, man?" Sam asked, "thought we lost you out there."

Derek was drumming his fingers on the desk. He chewed on his bottom lip and forced a laugh. "You know. I was just looking at God's beautiful scenery."

"I know that's a lie, Derek. What were you doing?"

"None of your business, Sam!"

Sam stiffeled a laugh. "Were you jacking off?"

Derek covered his face in his hands then glared at Sam. "One, I can't believe you. Two, yes, to your mom."

Saved by the bell, Derek ran out of the classroom, he was jumpy, anything anyone said to him made him panic. A gun being held in your face may do that to someone.

"Derek?"

Derek spun around, it was Casey. "Casey," he breathed heavily, "you scared me."

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine, Casey!" Derek semi-shouted and pushed Casey out of the way and ran down the hall to class. Casey just stared at him, what was going on with that boy?

* * *

Derek knew he wasn't safe. He knew that those men had his school ID. Complete with his address. Great, not only was he in danger but so was his family and Nora, Casey, and Lizzie. Derek was in his room, leaning back in a rolling chair with his hands behind his head. His heart was pounding, he had just opened the curtains minutes before and had seen a black car out front. He knew it was them. He knew that he might as well be dead, but his family had nothing to do with this. Of course, this was all happening a week before his sixteenth birthday party, but he had to throw it all a way. Derek Venturi had a plan, and he knew exactly what he was going to do.

* * *

"Paul! I just don't understand!" Casey MacDonald groaned, pacing back and forth in her guidance counselor's office.

"Casey, Derek just may be going through some changes. You say he's been acting strange, quiet, staying in his room, Casey, maybe he just needs some space."

"It's not like him, at all! I mean, yeah, I like the fact that we haven't been fighting lately and that everything has been going smoothly..." Casey's words trailed off.

"You're just worried something is wrong," Paul soothed. "Don't worry Casey, everything will be fine with your step-brother."

Casey sighed. "You really think so? I don't know. Maybe he's just nervous about his party."

"Probably," Paul smiled, "now go and get on to class. I'm sure your english teacher wants to read that report you wrote."

Casey grinned and nodded. "You're right. Thanks." Then Casey left the room. She hoped that Derek was just having a stage, pre-jitter party, butterflies, type of things. Did she really care about Derek? Of course, he was her step-brother, as much as they fought, he kept her somewhat entertained, and that wasn't a bad thing.

* * *

Derek skipped school. He took the car his father and Nora had bought him, every intention of crashing it. Derek didn't want to, he loved this car... but no matter how screwed up his plan seemed, he had to go through with it. He groaned and looked over at his leather jacket, driving permit, matches, gasoline, and back liscense plate in the passenger seat beside him. 

Derek parked his car a few yards away from a tree off the side of the road. He threw a book on the gas pedal and stepped back as he watched the car crash into the tree. Derek winced, smoke billowed up from the front of the car. He shook his head and grabbed the can of gasoline and started to pour it around the car and in the car before lighting a match and throwing it into the car. Again, a wince. His precious, precious car. he grabbed another match and started to burn the edges of his liscense plate and permit. When the fire and smoke died down from the car, Derek put the half-burnt liscence plate behind the car, making it look like it fell off and he threw his permit into the burnt driver's seat. It looked like all of his remains had gotten burnt with the car. That was fine.

Derek was planning on putting his jacket there too, but he couldn't part with it. He slung it on and fingered the $2,000 dollars in his pocket he had managed to save up from odd jobs.

Nothing though, mattered anymore. Derek had to start over, because Derek Venturi was now, dead.

* * *

When Casey got the call from George and her mother, she didn't know how to respond. How would anyone respond? Her heart was pounding so loud, she was certain everyone on the planet could hear it. Her step-brother, her rival, her sometimes a friend, Derek was dead.

The forensics had identified Derek's death by his permit and liscence plate. Dinner never happened that night. Nora was bawling into George's arms, her having come to think of Derek as her son through these past few months. "I knew we shouldn't have gotten him a car!" George just stroked Nora's hair and held onto her tightly.

Marti sat in Derek's recliner, she didn't fully understand the situation, but she constantly kept asking: "Where's Smerek? Where's Smerek?"

Edwin had locked himself in his room, while Casey comforted Lizzie on the couch. Would the rest of their lives be like this?


	3. Damian Validale

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Three**

Derek had changed his name. He was now Damian Validale, with his own, cheap, apartment, a waiter at night. He enrolled himself into Jack Sparrow Thompson High. The first few weeks of being on his own were lonely. It was difficult to find a job, difficult to be out on his own. No one would get him now, no one would harm him family. Derek cut his hair and dyed it a dark red color, he got green colored contacts, a pair of glasses, and changed his total style of clothes, sadly, hanging up his jacket in the back of his closet. His wardrobe consisted of plain colored shirts, sweaters, vests. He was going for that nerd look, the people that Casey might be seen hanging out with.

When he started his first day at school, everyone was still buzzing around about one, Derek Venturi and his death. Derek, as Damian, pretended to be interested in this news, asking what everyone thought about this Derek. From girls he mainly got, he was hott, wild, his party was going to be the best thing ever, he was kind've cocky... From the boys he normally got: He was cool, pity he's gone. He was popular, we all wanted to be him. Derek tried to talk to Sam and Ralph, but he got shot down, teased by his once friends. People were fickle, too fickle.

Then he saw Casey. She was at her locker, white sweater, knee-length jean skirt, white flipflops, her hair was curled. He smiled, she would surely talk to him. "Hey," Derek called out, running to her. Casey turned around. He was happy his locker was near her's. Finally, someone he knew, someone he could vent to.

"Hello? Do I know you?"

"Well, no, but my name is Damian Validale, I'm new here. Maybe you could show me around?"

Casey smiled. "Alright. What's your next class? By the way I'm Casey MacDonald," Casey extended her hand.

"Uhm. English," Derek said quietly, pretending to be a little shy and sheepishly shaking her hand.

"I have english next!" Casey exclaimed, grabbing Derek's hand and leading him to the class. Derek followed her, he knew she had english next. He was glad to be in a class with her. He could cheat off of her, well, not that Derek wasn't smart. He was really smart, especially since he had to be in this nerd get up. The problem was that Derek never applied himself before, but he'd have to start now. He had nothing in his way to keep him from his studies.

"Where are you from?" Casey inquired, but Derek could tell something was bothering her.

"Uhm. You know, here and there," was that the best answer he could come up with?

"Oh. Cool."

Maybe he really was stupid. "Yeah," Derek wrung his hands together. "so, who is this Derek kid, I keep hearing about?" Way to go, make the conversation all about you.

Casey lowered her eyes as she slid into her desk in Honors English. "He..." her voice trailed off and Derek couldn't help but frown. "...was my step-brother, the most popular kid here, I mean... You know what? I don't want to talk about him."

Derek had hurt her, he had hurt everyone, but it could've been worse. "I'm sorry." Derek walked over to the desk next to Casey's and sat down.

"Its alright. You didn't know him, but if you're anything like me, you'd probably hate him," Casey added with a slight giggle.

Derek raised an eyebrow, "You hated him?"

"Sometimes. He was a real jerk sometimes. You know? He ruined my reputation by calling me Klutzilla, he would use me for grades, eh. ...but he's a guy, what do you expect? No offence."

"Yeah, I would never do that," Derek said and then added under his breath, "now."

"Good," Casey smiled, then sat up straight as the teacher walked into the room.

"Good morning class," the teacher said, walking up to the front of the class. "I see we have a new student. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Derek got up and looked around. All eyes were on him. He blushed slightly and walked to the front. "Hi," he said quietly, "I'm Damian Validale. Uhm. I like to read, write, and stuff..."

Everyone in the class giggled, but Casey was beaming at him. Derek looked down at the floor. It wasn't easy, he knew everyone was making fun of him in their mind. It hurt. Now he knew what people felt like when he did that. He was a jerk. Derek looked down and fiddled with his sleeves.

"Then you're in the right class," the teacher laughed. "Thank you Mr. Validale. Now go take your seat."

Derek nodded and sat down. "I think everyone was laughing at me," he whispered to Casey.

Casey shrugged. "Its okay, a lot of people in this school are cruel."

* * *

Casey went out to dinner that night with her family. Nora hadn't cooked lately, they had been living off of casserols and all the other food people had brought by. Edwin never ate, he had grown thin and sickly. It had only been three months since Derek's death. Everyone was still recovering, but for a change, Casey suggested they get out and go eat. 

"That sounds like a good idea, Casey," George had smiled. Him and Casey had been the most strong over this, trying not to let Derek's death get in the way of their lives. They had to move on, but maybe the shock hadn't hit yet.

"Hi, I'm Damian and I'll be your waiter for tonight," Derek was looking down at his pad but when he looked up he recgonized his family. He stepped back. He couldn't wait on them. They'll know him, he was surprised Casey hadn't earlier.

"Damian!" Casey smiled, "I didn't know you work here!"

"Yeah," Derek laughed and looked down at the ground.

"Guys, this is Damian, he's new and in my English class. Damian, this is my family." Casey got up and introduced everyone.

"Pleased to meet you," Derek said, and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Water, for everyone," Nora stated, her voice extremely flat.

Derek wrote that down. Drinks cost a lot here, she was probably not wanting to spend a lot of money. He saw his father looking him over, he quickly turned around to go get them their waters, afraid that he could be recgonized.

* * *

"There's something familar about him," George said quietly. 

Casey shrugged. "He's kind've like Tinker," she stated. George nodded. He saw the resemblance there, but he didn't hear Casey add, "he's cuter though."

Derek delievered their waters to them and left. Casey smiled when who she thought was Damian almost spilled her water all over her. He may even be more clutzy than her. Then the pang hit her. Klutzilla. She looked down at her hands, she missed Derek. She felt a single salty tear slip down her face onto the table cloth. "Excuse me," she whispered before running off into the bathroom.

Casey realized the shock had gotten to her. When she entered the bathroom, she ran to the sink and placed both hands on either side and looked at herself in the mirror. "Derek. I never thought I'd miss you."


	4. Study Date

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek.**

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the reviews! They make me smile! Anyways, the last chapter, yes, **Victoria Alexandra**, it was slightly rushed. lol I was sick yesterday and extremely busy so I tried to finish it as quickly as possible. I promise, this chapter will be better. :) **True Love Lives Forever**, I had a similar idea in mind, but keep thinking like that.  
By the way, I'm trying to work on a trailer, but when I get to the seventh or eighth clip to put in, my Windows Media Maker crashes. So, I have no clue what to do. grr. If anyone wants to help e-mail me or something. Thanks:)

**Chapter Four**

"Dead?" a man shouted, obviously the leader of whatever was going on. He slammed down a newspaper onto a table and stood up. "You think this boy is really dead?"

"Yes sir," said a smaller, more timid man. He was slightly shaking, trembling, even.

"I don't buy it!"

"All the evidence points, sir..." said another man, it was one of the men from the hit. "I believe the kid was being stupid, crashed his car into a tree."

"Perhaps he found out we were onto him?" the leader growled.

"Does it matter? He hasn't even spoken up about anything!" said one of the other men.

"I don't care, we've to much to lose in our operation to risk anything!" the leader stated and left the room, leaving the rest of the men to stare at each other in bewilderment.

* * *

Casey was flipping through a photo album. There were pictures of the family together at the wedding, but the only pictures Casey was interested in was ones of Derek. In the wedding pictures he had an angry edge, despite the fact he was smiling. Was it because he had to wear a tux or because he'd have to share his home with three new women? Casey found herself giggling, there were other pictures of him, with girlfriends, Sam, Ralph, his dad, Edwin, Marti... There was only one picture with only the two of them, it was from the wedding. Derek had his arm around her shoulder and his expression was blank while Casey had a half-smile. The picture wasn't all that great, they both looked kind've stupid but she took the picture out of its' sleeve and placed it in her pocket. Then the doorbell rang.

Casey swung the door open. Damian was standing there, books in his arms, and his other hand was pushing his glasses up his nose. Casey smiled at him. "Damian! Hey. No trouble finding the house, I see."

"No, no, none at all. So, uhm. Where are we going to go?"

"I was wondering if we should go somewhere to study, but I decided I'd rather us stay at my home. I just... don't feel like leaving," Casey shrugged and ushered him in.

Derek walked in slowly. He couldn't be here. Coming here was a stupid idea, but it was also comforting. He started to touch everything, just feeling them gave him a sense of being home. He inhaled the air around him and smiled. Casey raised an eyebrow. Derek put his hand by his side and coughed. "OCD," he stated quickly. Casey nodded and motioned for him to follow her.

As they walked upstairs, Derek made sure to touch all the spindles on the stairs to support his OCD comment. He saw Casey trying to hide a laugh and he just grinned. "Hiding a laugh Casey MacDonald?"

Casey froze on the stairs. The way he said that, it sounded vaguely familar, Casey started to breathe heavily, but she retained herself and turned around. "Yeah, I was," she spun back around and continued walking up the stairs. It was funny, no one had made her smile, laugh since Derek's death, no one except her new friend, Damian. He was awkward, shy, was her laughing making fun of him or simply because he made her smile? She couldn't dwell on this now, she led him to her bedroom.

Derek entered Casey's room. It wasn't very different than before. He walked over to her desk and sat down. Casey pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. "So, where do you want to start?"

"How about history? We have a big test in there on Monday and I want to make sure I'm ready for it." Derek opened one of his books and pulled out his history study guide, Casey did the same.

"Okay," Casey started, "what did you get for number twelve?"

Derek was there for a few hours, studying history and english with Casey. It was all fairly boring to him, but at least he's pass his test come Monday. "Thanks for studying with me, Casey," Derek smiled and extended his hand.

Instead, Casey pulled him into a tight squeeze. "No, thank you." She pulled him away and sighed, running over and laying on her bed. "You don't understand Damian!"

Derek wrinkled his nose and looked at her. "What... do you mean?" Derek looked at her face, was she crying?

"Its just," Casey sniffled, "that I have no one to talk to. I mean, Emily has isolated herself like everyone else at the school. All my friends. Even people who didn't know Derek are so, 'heartbroken'. I don't understand. Everyone says: You remind me of Derek. We all start crying. I mean-"

She was rambling, but that was Casey for you... all Derek could do wa sit next to her and pat her back. "I'm sure, he's watching over you, somewhere," he managed to whisper. It wasn't a lie, it was the truth.

"I wish you were right," Casey muttered, "but I doubt if Derek was watching over someone, I'm sure it wouldn't be me."

"Why do you say that?" Derek asked, rubbing her arm and then quickly removing it.

"I'm just... Well, we kind've hated each other."

"Hate is a strong word, Casey."

"I know, I know. Maybe we didn't hate each other, but we never got along. I just wish... I could've been nicer to him at times."

Derek nodded, he wished he could've been nicer to her too. "Well, I hope everything gets better. I have to go." Derek walked over and grabbed his books clumsily. As he did, a few pieces of paper fell to the floor. There were pictures of the car accident, things were circled in red and blue pen. Stapled to the pictures were notes, but Casey was quickly at his side, grabbing them from his hands.

"Uhm..." Derek said.

Casey just looked at him. "They're nothing."

"You're more than a little obsessed with m-your brother's death," Derek stammered, almost blurting out the word 'me'.

Casey gave him a puzzled look. "I am not, and he was my step-brother."

"Yeah," Derek said, exiting the room, and in seconds, the house.

Casey stared down at the photos in her hand, tracing the pen marks with her index finger in her free hand. "Derek," she said to herself, "I just can't believe you're really gone. None of this seems to add up... just what?" Casey crinkled the pictures in her hand and dropped them on the ground. "You were so weird the weeks before... I just..." Nothing made sense anymore to Casey MacDonald.


	5. He's Dead!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** I think it would be fun adding Shawn into the story, but I'm scared it may ruin it because some people don't know who he is! So, I have no idea... also, sorry it took so long. I got major writer's block. Again, sorry the chapters are sort've short. I've been busy with work and school starting up. I'll try to make the next few longer and updated quicker! I promise, oh and action will come soon!!

**Chapter Five**

"No, Paul! It wasn't!" Casey pleaded, tears brimming her eyes. "No one believes me. It was done on purpose, it had to be!"

"Why do you say that?" the counselor asked, not wanting to admit he was somewhat intrigued.

"For one, Derek was an excellent driver. If he didn't something right, it was drive. I mean, George would be teaching us how to drive and Derek caught on so quickly, and he was better than me even!"

"Imagine that," Paul muttered under his breathe.

"Remember how Derek was acting so weird? ...then he dies like a week later? Something, it just, it doesn't make any sense to me! Did Derek kill himself you think?" Casey was pacing around the room like crazy, pulling at pieces of her hair. She was frusterated.

"Casey, calm down. Even the best drivers can make a mistake. If you really think that Derek was in so much trouble, maybe you should be talking to the police or someone else. Not me."

Casey shot him a glance and looked down at the carpet. "You may be right, but the whole thing is closed. I've looked it up."

"I don't know what to tell you, Casey. I'm sorry."

Casey let out a long sigh and sat down on a chair across from her counselor. "Maybe I'm just over re-acting. I just guess I thought that when I think of Derek dying, it feels like there should be more to it, than just dying."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean exactly?"

"You know," Casey said in frusteration, "that he'd go out with a bang. Not some car accident."

"I see, well-" Paul was cut off by his door being swung open and an awkward boy standing there in the doorway.

"You wanted to see me?" It was Derek, wringing his hands together.

"Hi Damian!" Casey smiled and gave him a quick wave.

Derek returned her smile. "Hey Casey, how are you?"

"Damian, I will see you in a few minutes. Please wait outside," Paul said, watching the boy exit the room. "Casey, you two know each other?"

"Yes," Casey beamed. "He's a great friend. He makes me laugh, smile, he comes over and spends time with my family. He's the only person I've known so far that's been able to make me and my family feel okay since Derek's death."

Paul nodded. "You know you're really his only friend right now, Casey? I have these little 'fitting in' sessions with him once a week. Its a new student program. Anyways, he talks about you a lot. He's thankful you're helping him here."

"I'm thankful for him to. Thanks Paul," then she left the room.

* * *

When Casey got home she looked through the photos of Derek's car accident. Photos of his belongings found in the car. There were no remains of his body or clothes. That didn't make sense, there should've been something, right? Casey closed her eyes tightly. She needed help, but she wasn't able to go to the police, they said it was closed, there was no case there. Casey looked through the pictures again and again. How could his ID card barely survive and not have a trace of his clothes left? 

Casey found herself knawing on the end of a pen. "Bad habit," she muttered. All she had was a bunch of pictures from the accident. All she had and she couldn't prove anything with that. None of this was fair to her, not fair, not fair.

"Casey?" she almost jumped when the door opened someone stated her name. She turned around to see her little sister, Lizzie.

"Lizzie," Casey said holding her hand to her heart and breathing heavily. "you scared me. What is it?"

"Have you seen my homework?" Lizzie asked, peering around the door to see what Casey was working on. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," Casey muttered, "to both questions. I haven't seen your homework and I'm not sure if there's any reason I'm doing, what I'm doing."

"The last thing makes no sense," Lizzie said.

"I know. I just don't think Derek died the way he did."

"What's to think?" Lizzie asked, walking over to her sister and patting her back. "We're all upset. ...but I didn't think you'd be this upset!"

"You'd be surprised how much you appreciate something once its gone."

"You may be right," Lizzie stated. "...but we've all got to move on, sis. Its almost been six months."

"I know, Lizzie." Sometimes little sisters could be so right. Casey turned around and hugged her sister tightly. "What would I do with out you?"

"Not sure, but everyone needs me," Lizzie giggled and Casey joined her. Casey felt guilty, how could she laugh when everyone was suffering.

"Cute," Casey smiled and patted her sister's head. Lizzie bent over and picked up a picture of Derek's car accident.

"Leave it alone." Lizzie said, handing Casey the picture and then walking out of the room. Casey looked down at the picture. Someone had to believe her, side with her, help her with what she was doing.

Casey walked over to her nightstand and picked up her cell phone and punched in Damian's number.

"Hello?" the voice was groggy, like he had been awakened from a nap.

"Sorry if I woke you up. Can you come over?"

"Sure..."

"Thanks," then Casey hung up. She paced back and forth in her room waiting for Damian. When he finally came she explained her theory about Derek's death to him.

Derek looked at her and grabbed her shoulders. Casey winced, it hurt. He shook her, his face only centimeters away from her's he yelled. Screamed, "Your brother is dead Casey! Don't go trying to figure out why!" Casey stared at him, her mouth gaping open. Derek breathed in heavily and let go of her, pushing her away roughly and falling down onto her bed.

Casey turned around and ran her fingers through her hair. She didn't understand. Why was Damian acting like this? She closed her eyes tightly, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Get away," she growled through clenched teeth.

"Listen," Derek started, he had hurt her. If he got a dollar each time he kept count for the past few days, he may have been a rich man. "I'm sorry, I over-reacted."

"Over-reacted?!" Casey squealed. "What do you have to over-react about?"

"Possibly more than you know," Derek said. Casey just eyeballed him. "There's a lot you can't understand, or may ever understand, come to think of it."

"Try me," Casey challenged.

"Well, if your step-brother really is dead. There's got to be a reason for it, somewhere."

Casey scoffed. "Somewhere? That's the best you can come up with?" She rolled her eyes, Derek took note. "By the way, try me with your problems. I dare you."

"No!" Derek exclaimed, "My problems are my own! Somethings are better left unsaid, unknown..."

"Don't give me your thoughts, bullcrap, Damian. I'm smarter than that."

"Are you Casey MacDonald? Really? You can't even see something thats right in front of your face!" Derek yelled.

Casey growled. "Oh really?"

"Oh yes," Derek fought back, not helping but smirk when he saw the fire light up in Casey's eyes. A fire he knew to well and had missed.

Casey inspected him. A smirk? She sucked on her cheek. No. Only Derek smirked. "Where did you learn to smirk?" Oh my, that question was stupid out loud.

"Something, I think everyone is born with," Derek replied. Hiding a laugh.

"I see," Casey whispered.

"I'm still sorry, sincerily." Derek said quietly. He pulled her into a hug. "Really."

Casey hugged him back. The tone in his voice did sound like he meant what he said. "Does this mean you'll help me investigate my step-brother's death. If there is indeed a case?"

"Naive Casey," Derek muttered.

"Hm?"

"Nothing."


	6. Sweet Memorial

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Thanks Demonhunter. :) The baby is soo cute. Well, I suddenly got this idea for a cliche twist at the end! So, I better keep writing!! So sorry its short! I'll try to make the next few chapters longer! I promise!

**Chapter Six**

Casey MacDonald sat there strumming her fingers against the table. An empty room, that given any other moment, could have been filled with loud music and dancing. That tonight would've been the best night of Derek Venturi's life to date, that he could've had whatever he wanted, his whole life... wish. Desires. Tonight this place could have been excitement and fun, tonight, there could have been magic. She could see him, standing there, microphone in his hand, telling everyone how great he was that he was so happy they were there.

Any other time, that could've been happening tonight. However, fate had other plans, of course. Here, outside this lobby there was a memorial service going on. Celebrating his sixteenth birthday in a different way. Rather mourning it. She wanted to cry and scream and wonder why she cared so much. Maybe she could feel for everyone else, or maybe no one should have to die so young. If tonight there was a party, if tonight... then maybe it could've been the night...

Casey! Snap out of it! She shook her head. "Casey?"

Casey looked up. She saw Derek standing there, he was wearing a tux, a bouquet of roses and daisies in his hands. Casey inhaled sharply and stood up. "Derek?" She ran up and walked to him, wrapping her arms quickly around him. "I thought..."

Derek's heart pounded. She had seen through his disguise. He found his heat beating rapidly in his chest, his hands shaking uncontrollably. She could be in trouble, he couldn't have her hurt. Tears were in her eyes, he fought back his own. He found his voice.

"Casey?" her eyes looked up at him. It wasn't Derek, but Damian. Derek forced a grin. "Not Derek. Just Damian."

Casey shook her head and pulled back from the embrace. "Sorry," she muttered, "in the light..." she trailed off and focused her attention on something else. Shaking her head then looked at the flowers. "Are those...?"

Derek nodded. "Flowers? Yes, for your step-brother's memorial today, but you can have one." Derek pulled off a rose and pressed it into her hand.

Casey scoffed and rubbed her thumb against the soft, pink petal. "His sweet sixteen would be today," Casey smiled. "He invited me, you know? I didn't want to go, thinking it would just be... you know... "

"I don't know," Derek laughed, shaking his head and then locking his arm in her's. "explain? I mean, if you're step siblings, why wouldn't he invite you. Shouldn't you be automatically invited?"

"Just a cruel trick towards me. He teased me all the time. I guess, we were kind've in this, okay relationship status. I mean, we're steb siblings, but I wouldn't consider us family. He just picked on me all the time."

Derek smirked, but away from Casey. "Maybe he teased you because he liked you?"

"Ew!" Casey shrieked, but she secretly liked the idea. Derek frowned and chewed on his bottom lip.

Derek shrugged and punched her shoulder, lightly. "Maybe not that _kind_ of like." As they neared Derek's "gravestone", rather memorial site outside where his party would've been thrown. Derek found himself swallowing a lump in his throat.

Surrounded by family and old friends, Derek felt his stomach, his heart drop. Outside the club house where his party would have been, people mourned and remembered the once 'great' boy. Derek only realized how shallow his life had been lead. He wished he had... oh what was the use anymore? He caught himself staring at her from the corner of his eye. Casey kept picking at the rose petals, tears slid down her cheeks, her mascara started to run. Derek got out a tissue and held her close, wiping away her tears and makeup. She pushed him away and ran off into the crowd. Derek closed his eyes tightly and dropped the flowers in his hand and they fell to the ground.

Little did the both of them know that standing in the corner of the area was a tall man in a pen-striped suit watching Casey MacDonald's every move.

* * *

Casey sat at home, beating herself up over the way she had acted. She looked over at the pitiful flowers sitting in the vase by her bed. They had been trampled on, but one daisy seemed to have survived, thriving among the rest. Casey fell back onto her bed. She rolled her eyes and grabbed at papers under her bed. What had Derek been doing the day he had skipped school? She chewed on the end of a pen, staring at the daisy and looking down at a pad of paper in her hand. She wished she could be the one to thrive, her state, however, was interrupted by a the shrill ring of a telephone call.

"Hello?" she answered, her hand over her heart from the startling of the call.

"Casey?" the voice belonged to a girl.

Casey raised an eyebrow. "Emily?" she hadn't talked to Emily since Derek's death.

"Hey, Casey. I saw you today at the memorial service. You looked more upset today then you did at his funeral."

_The shock hadn't boiled over yet._ She thought. "Yeah, well, it just got to me. I guess, more so than the funeral."

"You've isolated yourself Casey, why? 'cause Derek died? You guys didn't even like each other."

"He was still my brother, Emily."

"I know. ...but I think you need some girl time, Casey. We all miss you. Max, me, Sam, even. All your friends. You're spending way to much with that nerd kid. That can't be healthy. Why him?"

"He gets me. Just someone whose easy to talk to, I guess." That was the truth. Something about him just clicked.

"I think its weird, Casey."

"I know. Maybe it is."

"Let's hangout, I really miss your friendship. We all miss Derek, we're all still mourning, but we've got to live through it. Please, Casey. For you, for me, for everyone, for Derek."

Casey understood. She couldn't stay in this state. Her crazy theories about Derek weren't even real. He went for a joy ride and screwed up. That's what he got for driving without a license. He had it coming. She had to move on.


	7. Fight! Fight! Fight!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Seven **

School on Monday proved to be hectic. Everyone had seen the scene Casey had played at Derek's memorial service. Everyone had called her, knowing that the last few weeks had been terrible for her. She hadn't talked to anyone but the new kid, but with Emily's help, her phone call, she realized she had to forget Derek and get back on the social scene. "Hey Case," said a voice, belonging to Sam, Derek's once best friend. "I'm sorry."

"You've told me this before, Sam," she groaned, not really wanting to talk to anyone, with all the looks and phrases said to her today.

"I know. I haven't really talked to you." He put his arm around her. "I think Derek would've wanted me to take good care of you."

Derek, Damian, saw this from across the hallway at school. Casey looked upset, angry and she was with Sam. That made Derek infuriated for some unknown reason, something he couldn't explain. Plus, the way Casey was batting at Sam's arm, trying to unwrap it from around her shoulders. Derek found himself dropping the books in his arms and running over, tackling Sam to the ground, Sam, bringing Casey with him. Derek watched Casey wince as she hit her head against a locker.

"What do you think you're doing, nerd?" Sam yelled, rolling over with Derek, and lunging for a punch. Derek slipped under Sam's arms and stood up. Sam turned around quickly and stood up, face to face with Derek. The two then started pushing each other, fists tight, threatening to make a punch.

By now, everyone was circled around the boys, shouting, "Fight! Fight!"

Derek went in for a punch, hitting Sam in the cheek. Sam just got more angry. "Mad because my arm is around Casey? Huh? You like her? You don't stand a chance!" He pushed Derek hard into the locker. Derek fell hard, groaning. "Thinking you can just waltz in here like you're nothing. Steal Casey away. Showing up at Derek's memorial service. You didn't know him." Sam went to lunge for another punch at Derek. Derek felt it hit his face, right in the eye. It was going to leave a mark later. He flinched and staggered to get up, pushing Sam down. The bell rang, Derek couldn't afford this, what if the school wanted to talk to his parents? He was in deep trouble.

"You're nothing, Damian Validale. Nothing," Sam spat at him, then pushed him to the ground. Casey, still on the floor, holding her head, Derek found himself falling on top of her, the two rolled over. The position was awkward, Casey laying underneath Derek. Derek's glasses were cracked, falling off his face onto her chest. Casey could feel Derek's heartbeat through out his body, his breathing heavy. Casey's breathing was heavy too, she realized. "Get off her," Sam yelled. "You could never get her. Give up!" Casey found herself pushing Derek off of her, rolling over and trying to steady herself to stand up.

"I don't need you," she whispered coldly. Sam attempted to help her up but she swatted his hand away. "You either." She wiped her dress off and ran to class, leaving the boys behind her.

Same glared at Derek, his eyes seemed threatening. "You have a death wish point dexter?"

"She's too good for you," Derek muttered.

"You're nothing."

This wasn't the Sam that Derek had known. No, not at all. Derek realized that his friend had changed so draastically. Sam used to be so sheltered, pretty much a good kid other than the peer pressure that Derek normally had put him in before. The way he had seen Sam during school made him realize that Sam was trying to take Derek's place at the school. He looked at his ex-best friend. Is this really what Derek had done to everyone? He didn't think anyone cared that much if he had died. People had still been talking about it, but he had ignored all the conversations. The irony of it all. No one knew.

"Do we have a problem boys?" the two of them jumped as they felt a hand on their shoulders. Sam and Derek both turned around to see the principal of the school. "Damian? Sam?" he paused. "Damian?"

Derek sighed. "I'm sorry, he was... making my friend angry. I lashed out."

"We can explain this in my office and over detention, thank you very much. March boys." Derek found himself marching to the rather familiar principal's office. He didn't know why, but this time he was shaking. Scared. If the principal wanted to talk to his parents, what would he do? Derek directed his attention to Sam's still clenched fists.

"Truce?" Derek managed to whisper under his breath.

"Stay away from her."

"Why do you even care?" Derek growled, looking at Sam through the corner of his eye.

"Derek would've wanted me to take care of her," Sam muttered.

"You don't know that."

"I won't let him be forgotten, I can't let anything happen to her..."

Derek raised an eyebrow. Shouldn't he understand, why couldn't he comprehend the events that were unfolding around him? Why couldn't he help but feel like he was missing something? Something important that he couldn't put his finger on?

"I can't lose her too, I love her," Sam muttered, so quietly that I could hardly understand his words.

"Love her?" Derek's lip trembled. Sam shot him a glare, as if to say, you didn't really hear what you think you did. Derek knew better though, Sam still loved Casey.

"Quiet boys," the principal shot at them as they entered the office and he disappeared into his room, but not before motioning for them to take a seat in the burgandy plush chairs in the office lobby.

The secretary working at the desk on the other side of the office brushed a strand of long blonde hair behind her ear. Derek looked over at her, she looked new, un-experienced. Had it been any other day he may have strolled over and flirted with her. ...but it wasn't any other day. She clumsily answered the phones and took notes, spilling papers every where every few seconds. Looking at her made Derek wish for his old life, but he wasn't sure why.

Derek looked over at Sam, his face buried in his hands and moving back and forth in the seat. Derek inhaled deeply. "It'll be okay, man."

"Nothing ever will."

...and there came that feeling again, that feeling that there was more to the picture than he was seeing.

* * *

"Casey? Are you alright?" Emily Davis asked her friend as they walked into their social studies class. "These last few days have taken a toll on you."

"Try these last few weeks," Casey grumbled, reaching her hand up and pulling at her hair.

"Has it really only been three weeks since Derek's death?" Emily put her arm around her friend. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more. I had my grief to deal with too."

"I know Emily," Casey whispered, "it's just... you could've called."

"I'm sorry."

"Damian was the only person and my family who was there for me, but I understand. You had your problems to deal with too."

"We'll get through this together," Emily said, embracing her friend tightly.

"Yeah," Casey said, returning the embrace, but she couldn't stop thinking about the fight with Damian and Sam. 


End file.
